Into the Wild...Let The Hunt Begin #12

::in David Bowe voice:: Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes!

So a lot has happened in the past week. I attended the national conference, thought day after day about this potential job offer (see Post #11), interviewed with three more schools, and learned a WHOLE lot. The past week has been hectic and crazy and amazing all rolled into one. The conference was amazing.

I do have some bad news though. My top school hired someone else :( I was on the phone with them during the conference to see if I could get information on where I stand. At that point, I hadn't heard a peep since my phone interview three weeks ago. I had a bad feeling, and my gut was right. When they broke the news to me, I had a mixture of emotions. I was relieved because it made the choice at hand a little easier. I was upset because I felt like it will be another few years until I can end up at that location, which I've idealized in my mind as the place I want to "settle down" in. I was embarrassed because I kept babbling on the phone, trying to pretend like I was okay. You know, it's like that "It's cool, it's cool" mantra that people repeat when they've been rejected by someone. I knew I was just repeating the same four phrases over and over to the person on the phone because I didn't know what else to say and I didn't know how to wrap up the conversation. "Thank you for letting me know. This information definitely helps me. I'm glad you were able to find someone that fits your office best. I hope our paths will cross in the near future." After everything the woman would say--the whole, "I'm glad we can give you information but I'm sorry it's not the best news"--I said those same four phrases over again. Haha, how embarrassing. You know she hung up and was like "aww, poor thing." But that's okay. It really DID help me.

My interviews at the conference went very well. The difficult thing about having an offer in your back pocket while interviewing is that you're constantly comparing. You also feel guilty--or at least I did. Like I was cheating on these interviewers with another school. I knew it was inappropriate for me to be like, "I HAVE AN OFFER" on the first interview. So when I got questions like, "Would you be available to come to campus?" I had to say yes, because technically I would be if I don't take the offer I have. I also felt bad after these interviews because I genuinely liked the people I met and I could tell they liked me. We vibed, you know? One job I knew I didn't want after we talked. It sounded too chaotic for me--I like chaos, but the responsibility seemed unmanageable. I ruled that one out, even though the person was a pleasure to speak with. The other two schools I really liked. When it came down to those positions/locations/schools, they were a little lacking compared to my offer. Although I wish I could have the experience to go visit these schools, I knew time was running out with this offer. I thought long and hard and came to a decision: I want to move forward with my offer.

I went back to the pros and cons list and made the same lists for the other two schools that I really liked from my interviews. The school with the offer had a longer pros list. I called them yesterday to tell them to put paperwork through for my background check. As long as there are no skeletons in my closet, I may have the formal "no-messing-around" deal soon.

I am nervous and excited... I have to figure out how to turn down these other schools now. They may be contacting me in the next few weeks for campus visits, so I suppose I have to contact them first. Man, it really is like the dating scene. I feel like I have to break up with these schools...