Real World: Job Search #21

A Few Parting Thoughts

A few days before high school graduation, one of the greatest and most influential teachers I ever had shared with us her wish for our futures. It wasn’t to accumulate a great amount of wealth, or even knowledge. It wasn’t for marriage, or families, or great jobs. It wasn’t for health or happiness or success. But yet it was some cosmic combination of these things; the sum of their parts was greater than the whole. Her final wish for us, on the cusp of one of life’s huge milestones, was to become fully self-actualized.

Maslow describes self-actualization as a desire to become fulfilled, to reach one’s full potential. Fullness. Contentment.

I have enjoyed being a student for the last two decades, but being a professional is unbelievable! I have had an amazing few weeks. I moved to a new state, a new city. I started a new job. I am building new bridges, new connections. And somehow, it’s all so much more filling than I ever dreamed. And then, I come home at the end of the every day—with, admittedly, a few things still left on my To Do list—but that doesn’t matter. I have all of this time now to do the things I love, the things that make me happy. The things that, besides this position, fill me up. I am content.

That is sincerely my deepest wish for you all. To begin your own voyage to find self-actualization.

I may not be fully self-actualized; I may never get to such an enlightened state of mind. But I can be mindful of the path I choose, the steps that take me closer to contentment—to filling my life. This experience has already been incredibly rewarding and I am sincerely looking forward to the next steps on my journey.

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I wish you all the best of luck in your future! I hope you all enjoyed reading the blog as much as I enjoyed writing about my experiences. Thank you for this opportunity to share my story with you all!

Into the Wild...Let the Hunt Begin #25

Final Words.

This will be the last blog I write. I took the time to look back at my journey through these blogs and man, it was a very crazy, hectic, and fast-paced trip that got me to where I am today. I know many of you may still be in the hunt, and to those of you I say: keep your optimism! I am sure you are told time and again that things happen for a reason and while you may not believe that cliche, I do.

I am at my first job in student affairs because I was meant to be here. I am reminded daily of why I was attracted to this position in the first place. For those of you who may also be in the first few weeks of your first job, all I have to say is: it gets easier. I was floundering and overwhelmed the first few weeks, but I have just completed my 4th week in this job and it was the best week yet. I had a rocky start with my role in orientation advising last week, and I was nervous about this week's "record-breaking numbers." I had 10 back-to-back appointments and I was so afraid that I would screw something up. But the pressure also put me on top of my game and I caught mistakes before they blew out of proportion and more importantly I knew how to fix them or who to ask for help. I felt more comfortable in my role and more comfortable as a part of the team. It just...clicked.

So while I know this upcoming year will still be a transition and each day will bring me something new that I have to face, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. I wish all of you who read this blog the very same.

Good luck with the hunt and good luck with transition, everyone!

Into the Wild...Let the Hunt Begin #24

Making Mistakes.

I had my first trial-by-fire experience at work this week during Orientation. I was allowed to advise my own students and I was ready to jump right in! I felt prepared but at the same time, I was overwhelmed by how much information I needed to remember or keep in the back of my mind. I was at a disadvantage because I missed the orientation adviser training but I had observed and shadowed advisers during the past two weeks so I felt like I knew the gist of it.

Boy, was I wrong about that.

Maybe I'm being too hard on myself but I made a few mistakes that I shouldn't have (all with the same student, who was incredibly agreeable about the whole thing). I kept saying to people who would check in with me: "I can't believe I forgot that!" Or "I feel so bad that I missed that..." But for those of you who have ever worked orientation, I am sure you can understand this when I say: it's chaotic. In all the hussle and bussle of getting students in and out with a full schedule, things can slip through the cracks and your attention to detail can wane. I am lucky that I work with such a supportive team and my coworkers were there to help me understand my mistakes and also fix them.

It's tough, though, feeling like you're the only one messing up. I don't want people to think I haven't been paying attention during my training or that I'm a sloppy adviser. It's only my third week though, and most people who I have talked to here about my trip-ups have tried to tell me that it is not the end of the world and it takes time to fully grasp everything.

I'm nervous for next week though. It's our largest orientation session to date and while this week they started me off easy with about 5 students, next week I know I will be back-to-back with appointments and that leaves little room for error...or should I say little time to FIX errors...

I have this card framed in my office that my professor gave me which serves as a gentle reminder during these times of doubt/anxiety/stress, which reads: So slowly, breathe and smile.

*Woo-saaaaah*

Into the Wild...Let The Hunt Begin #23

Group Dynamics.

One of the most memorable classes I took in graduate school was about Group Dynamics. Perhaps it was because the professor was one of the most intelligent, articulate, hilarious, and extremely caring people I have come to know in the realm of academe. But mostly it was so memorable because of what it was about and what occurred in the class daily: GROUP DYNAMICS.

The good. The bad. The uncomfortable. The awkward. The frustrating. All of the dynamics that I encountered in that class prepared me for work in higher education. Honestly, I cannot tell you how important it is for me to assess the group of which I am now a part. I am treading lightly, as I begin to see the relationships, the "frenemies, the cliques, and the alliances. My plan? To be nice to everyone and not engage in the gossip that people "let me in on" during our conversations.

Don't you hate that? Just because you're new and you don't know everyone's personalities and roles they play in the group, people approach you and say, "Now let me let you in on a secret--this doesn't leave the room but..." and then they begin to tell you something like Janey over there has a habit of being needy, or Billy Bob thinks too highly of himself. It's a tough situation to be in because 1) you want to be included but 2) you don't want to take sides. Since I haven't had enough time to formulate my own opinions about these people yet, I just silently listen, but I will not engage in that kind of gossip!

In my opinion, everyone I have met is great in their own way and I am friendly with each of them. But our department is divided physically--we are split in two separate buildings. The physical divide is beginning to manifest itself in front of me in subtle ways. For example, I sent out an email today asking for suggestions about who to pair up with to do some shadowing. One person in my office said that I could choose anyone and since I've begun making connections with folks on the other side, I should work with one of them. I read that email and was like "Oh crap. Do they think I'm betraying them because I went to lunch with people from 'the other side?' Do they not get along with those people? Will I be shunned in my own office now?" It's silly to think, but when you work in such a small office like mine--only 7 people--and there is a larger "main" office that holds the rest of the department, it is very easy to form a sub-family and feel like a separate entity. That means stronger, deeper bonds. That in turn means interesting group dynamics for when EVERYONE gets involved.

I should probably bring my book from that course into my office as a permanent fixture on my bookshelf!

Real World: Job Search #20

Theory to Practice

It just occurred to me that in the next few weeks, I’m about to undergo some major transitions. Not that this is exactly a new revelation, but it just sort of started manifesting itself more in my thoughts. I’m about to move to a new state, a new city—starting a new job at a new school. With new people and places. New challenges, new triumphs. New supervisors. A lot of new things…

And then I started to think about all of the transitions I’ve already undergone in the last few months: graduating, no longer being a student, ending my assistantship, leaving my students and friends.

And before I started getting worked up about this prospect, I remembered that I was already equipped with the knowledge to combat this anxiety: Nancy Schlossberg’s theory about transitions. Personally, it’s always been one of the most relevant theories about which I learned in graduate school.

I’m going to totally oversimplify this, but in a nutshell, the theory explores a framework for coping with transitions. While all of my recent and upcoming transitions have been anticipated, some of the effects have been unanticipated. However, I have tools to help me as I undergo these major life transitions: Schlossberg’s four S’s.

· Situation – fully understanding the situation—such as the timing, what has brought abut the transition(s), whether a role change will occur, concurrent stress, etc—helps to make the transition less daunting

· Self – personal and demographic characteristics, as well as psychological resources, affect how a person views and copes with transition

· Support – comes in the form of family, friends, intimate relationships, and institutions/communities

· Strategy – the steps that dictate how a person chooses to deal with the transitions

Using this knowledge, I’ve done a sort of mental checklist of the Four S’s for my own situation. It’s been helpful in getting a handle on the changes. Maybe it will be helpful for you!

[Schlossberg, N.K., Waters, E.B., & Goodman, J. (1995). Counseling adults in transition 2^nd edition. New York: Springer]

Into the Wild...Let the Hunt Begin #22

One Week Down.

I cannot believe I have finished one week of work in my new position. It feels like an accomplishment in and of itself! But I was having a conversation with one of my colleagues, who is three weeks into the same position, and we were talking about how we wish we could just blink and it'll be one year later and we are experts and know everything.

Isn't it funny how not knowing everything makes us uneasy in our positions? It makes sense though when, as graduate students, we became experts in our assistantship areas and knew everything we needed about our department and the school in general. To go from that to a newbie is tough and also a little humbling. Everyone who is starting a job or will be starting by the end of the summer, the only tip I can really give you is to be prepared to feel lost and ASK QUESTIONS. Depending on what kind of training you are given--be it trial by fire or organized back-to-back meetings--you may feel insecure or at ease.

When I meet for training sessions with another colleague (who is an alum of the university and has worked in this position for years) it is like talking to an encyclopedia and all I can think of is: I want to be like that! But I keep needing to remind myself, and through blogging remind all you other newbies out there: it will take time, but one day we will be the go-to person. One day we will be the walking encyclopedia!

Real World: Job Search #19

Summer Sun

I remember at some point in my last semester, I wrangled with a decision about what to do during the summer. My assistantship had graciously offered to keep me on until I started my job in July. I would have been able to stay in my apartment. I would have been making money, which would probably have been nice—a few extra dollars to help me settle into the new job and the new home. But I wouldn’t have had any time to myself.

There are two different camps with opinions on this subject. One side says that you should work, save the money, stay mentally in shape, keep busy. The other side says to take a break, go travel somewhere, spend time with people. I’ve always believed that I was in the first camp. I had absolutely no intention of taking a break between graduation and starting my job.

But when I sat down and thought about it, I started to change my mind. See, I’ve been working nonstop for the last five years. Since I went straight from undergrad to grad school, I never had the opportunity to have some “me” time. I’ve been a student for as long as I can remember. I had a job in undergrad that sometimes prevented me from coming home over breaks. So between that job, summer internships, and other opportunities I’ve been afforded over summer and holiday breaks, well—I haven’t had a chance to breathe in almost five years.

So, instead of staying up at school and working, instead of saying yes for once, I said no. I made the decision mostly for my sanity. I didn’t want to start a new job and then be burnt out in the first few months because I haven’t had a break. So, I took a break. I’m home for the summer. I’m not working. Since I have graduated, there’s no schoolwork to keep me tied to my computer.

About a month into this break, I’m glad I took it. I have spent time with my family. I’ve slept in late. I’ve spent time at the beach. I’ve visited friends. I’ve gotten to read for pleasure! I have a little less than a month to go of my summer break, but I couldn’t have asked for a better “vacation.”